Texas Rangers Thoughts #1

Game 2, World Series

In the aftermath of last nights unconscionable loss to the Giants, many bandwagon fans might be scratching their heads and wondering what make that truck was that just rolled over them. I would tell them to look around and find the guy most un fazed by this aberration. The guy with the Cliff Lee look in his eyes, that stone cold look of focus and determination. Ask him, or her, if they are worried. I promise you they will say no. No true Ranger fan worth their weight in bbq would be worried, not after the regular season they've had. Not after their run through the AL playoffs. Not after Wash's weak moment, Hicks' financial brain farts, not after everything including the kitchen sink was thrown at this team to take them down. Maya Angelou might have been talking about this team when she penned the words "I rise". This baseball team is like the phoenix, rising up out of the ashes of it's own demise. They will not go quietly into the night. They will not go without a fight. They will circle the wagons and even this series tonight.

Texas College Football Volume 2

 In the wake of the Longhorns consecutive home losses for the first time in like, 13 years, I thought it only appropriate to finally get around to volume 2 in what was supposed to have been a weekly series. Oh the mighty ambitions of meager men. Those same ambitions were present at the beginning of the Longhorns season, which seems like ages ago, after losses in 3 out of their last 4 games. Those ambitions are as dead as Uncle Rico's dreams of playing high school quarterback. If you are Texas, when you lose at home to UCLA, who hasn't been decent since the 90's, and Iowa State, a running punchline in Iowa, in back to back home games it means your program has hit the bottom. There are many directions you can point the bony finger of hindsight, here are just a few.
 The first place I always point my finger when my football team is playing like North Texas is the head coach. Mack Brown is ultimately responsible for what goes on during a game. The offense, defense and special teams all have their own coaches and coordinators, and they all report to Macky Mack. If these guys are making the wrong decisions or are in situations that they can't handle, Brown needs to see this and have the backbone to do something about it. I know you hired these guys and are very loyal to them, but it's obvious that, even with the talent on Texas' roster, they can't get the job done. In particular, I'm talking about Greg Davis, Will Muschamp and Major Applewhite. The latter coaches the running backs, which may explain why they aren't that good and haven't improved much. Major Applewhite would probably serve the team better as quarterback coach, a position Greg Davis seems reluctant to give up, no matter how much it would help this team.
 I was under the assumption that this team recruited as good or better than anyone in college football. Maybe they do recruit some of the best high school talent, but more often than not, these guys don't develop at the college level the way the university thinks they will. It's a reflection of the scouts and the recruiting talents of Mack Brown. People think he can recruit with the best of them, I beg to differ. I think the school recruits for itself because there is so much talent in the state. They get a lot of 4 star good old boys who grow up loving the school and would go there even if my Grandma was the coach. The same theory works for FSU, Miami and Florida. They will always have guys. But unlike those schools, who manage to keep most of their 5 star, blue chip guys, the most elite players in Texas seem to end up somewhere outside the state. If Macky Mack is so great, you would think he would be able to keep more of those guys, eh?
 Where in the world is Chris Whaley? Did aliens abduct him and project some hologram of him on the sideline to fool us? Why wouldn't a team that has been crazy inconsistent at that position try to take advantage of a human battering ram? He's built like Brandon Jacobs, he could run over most Div. 1 lineman. Besides that rant, these backs we have are doing the best they can. Most all are 3 star recruits who have maxed out their ability. Recruiting some o-line guys from high schools that don't run the spread might help also. These spread guys usually have to learn how to run block because they haven't done it since pee-wee ball, if at all.
 Our quarterback is showing his experience, or lack of it. maybe we were all a little bold to predict such great things from him after 3 quarters against Alabama. But they took place on the biggest stage, against what was definitely the best team. Garrett Gilbert is a sophomore, plain and simple, with less than 10 starts under his belt. He's being asked to do a lot of things, and he just isn't ready yet. I hope he can develop into that guy, but as of right now, he's hurting the football team. 300 yards doesn't mean anything when you throw three picks while doing it. On the bright side, he has shown the ability to run he displayed in high school. And although these runs aren't pretty, so far they have been very effective.
 And lastly, I blame the field turf at DKR War Memorial. The only thing that's worse was when they had that God awful AstroTurf in there. Go back to the real stuff you cheap bastards! And, as always, Keep Austin Weird Y'all!

NCAA College Football Top 10 Rankings Week 9

 I will continue to try to get them out in advance of the BcS release, but sometimes that will not be possible. Monday at the latest, I promise. Number in parenthesis is last weeks ranking. Rankings featured in Last week and Up Next are my rankings now!

1(1)-Oregon (7-0, 4-0 Pac10) Last week: 60-13 win vs. UCLA - After delivering a beat down of epic proportions  to UCLA, possibly the most inconsistent team that side of the Texas Hill Country, racking up 582 yards total offense and creating 3 turnovers, the Quack Attack set their sights on the big bully of the Pac10 during the past decade, USC. The Trojans are mortal this year, and for some years in the future, due to NCAA penalties. They are ripe for the taking, even in their own house, and the Ducks know it. Last weeks game was a trap if their ever was one. It would have been very easy for Oregon to have overlooked UCLA, but instead they took them out behind the wood shed and beat the biscuits out of them. This weeks game is a showcase for how far this program has come and how far it can go this season. Up Next- @USC, Sat. Prediction - Ducks 38 Trojans 30

2(2)-Boise State (6-0, 2-0 WAC) Last week: Idle - Boise St. got Wade Phillips favorite opponent last week, handily whipping the bye week. They look to be plenty rested and prepared for Louisiana Tech this week. One by one all their challengers are losing, they just have to keep winning with enough style points to stay in the top 2. It's a twisted game they have to play as a non-BcS school, one Chris Isaaks would be very proud of, but they seem to be playing it very well to this point. I would expect a Barry Switzer inspired performance(drop 50 in the 1st half and party in the 2nd) from this bunch against the Cajun Techsters. Up Next- Louisiana Tech, Tues.
Prediction - Bulldogs 14 Broncos 62

3(3)-TCU (8-0, 4-0 MWC) Last week: 38-7 win vs. Air Force - After wearing out Air Force in the 2nd half this past weekend, holding them to under 200 yards rushing and only 13 first downs, the Horned Frogs still need help from someone to get into that top 2. They are going to get a boost from the Utah game coming up, if they can win it. But it might not be enough to get them over the top, or even hold off Auburn if they continue to win in that mixed up SEC. They might need divine intervention...good thing this is a religious university. With a defense that finally allowed a TD after keeping offenses out for almost a month and a running game that's really getting on track, this team just needs the cards to fall it's way for once. Up Next- @ UNLV, Sat.
Prediction - Horned Frogs 45 Rebels 6

4(6)-Auburn (8-0, 5-0 SEC) Last week: 24-17 win vs. #8 LSU - They should rename this team the Fightin' Newtons because this man IS this team. After racking up over 200 yards rushing against a fantastic LSU defense, he now has over 1000 yards rushing on the season and is quickly getting the attention of Heisman voters who barely if at all remembered him from Florida. If Auburn can roll the Tide this season, they might be able to get into the SEC Championship game against a weak East opponent and spoil the ball for a couple of undefeated Cinderellas. But I've got a feeling the ride comes to an end here before too long, though. Just not this week. Up Next- @ Mississippi, Sat.
Prediction - Tigers 34 Rebels 24

5(5)-Alabama (7-1, 4-1 SEC) Last week: 41-10 win @ Tennessee - Not quite as dominant against the Vols as the score might suggest. They did make the plays when they needed them and McElroy had a great game throwing the ball. But except for a big spurt in the 3rd, this was a very close game. They still have immense talent and two of the best backs in college football, so they aren't out of the Big Game picture by any means. They will have a great chance to futher enhance their resume against LSU in two weeks, a game Saban will have his guys ready for and one they should most definetly win, even in Baton Rouge. Up Next- Idle

6(-)-Missouri (7-0, 3-0 Big12) Last weel: 36-21 win vs. #4 Oklahoma -  Saturday nights win thrust the Tigers back into the national spotlight, a place they hadn't been since getting pimp slapped by OU in the Big 12 Title game a few years ago. Oklahoma was dying to give it up, and they did, to the benefit of Missouri. But last week's win is exactly that, and a new opponent awaits this week. Just as talented and more importantly, in their division. Here's where they prove they are legit and start building a case towards Bowl season or slip back into obscurity. Up Next- @ #10 Nebraska, Sat.
Prediction - Tigers 30 Huskers 41

7(7)-Ohio State (7-1, 3-1 Big10) Last week: 49-0 win vs. Purdue - They absolutely crushed, I mean crushed Purdue on Saturday, holding the Boilermakers to just 118 yards offense and forcing 3 turnovers. Rumors of Terrell Pryor's demise have been greatly exagerated. This team is still crazy good and even with one loss, they are in control of their conference. They have what amounts to a bye week on Saturday, so they should be well rested and prepared for some tough opponents on the horizon. Yes, in a head to head matchup they would beat Sparty. Up Next- @ Minnesota, Sat.
Prediction - Buckeyes 49 Gophers 13

8(9)-Utah (7-0, 4-0 MWC) Last week: 59-6 win vs. Colorado State - I believe I used the word balanced to describe this team last week. And as expected they rolled through Colorado St., racking up more than 600 total yards and 27 first downs. They ran for 200+ and passed for 400+. It was a beat down not unlike what Moses gave to the Egyptians. But this team will be left at home scrubing the floors if it doesn't beat TCU, still looming on it's schedule. This week the Utes face the team TCU just beat, so I would look for them to try and make a point to voters in this game. Up Next- @ Air Force, Sat.
Prediction - Utes 61 Falcons 17

9(10)-Michigan State (8-0, 4-0 Big10) Last week: 35-27 win @ Northwestern - I think the words to the song that best describes Sparty would be "I think I love you, but what am I so afraid of?". Except I know what we are all afraid of...the bottom dropping out on this team. I'll give them this, though, they have done a great job of channeling and controlling their emotions in regards to the health situation of their coach. They took care of a very good Northwestern team(that sounds weird), but now have one of the big boys. How long can they keep this up? Saturday? Longer? I have no idea, just sit back and enjoy the ride until that time comes. Up Next- @ Iowa, Sat.
Prediction - Spartans 24 Hawkeyes 21

10(-)-Nebraska (6-1, 2-1 Big12) Last week: 51-41 win win @ Oklahoma State - How the heck did Taylor Martinez throw those passes onn Saturday? This kid, who has legs like lightning but an arm like a spaghetti noodle, might finally be coming into his own. If that is the case, look out Big 12 down the stretch this year and a warning to the Big 10 for next year and beyond. Something wicked your way comes. The opponents continue to be tough for the Children of the Corn, who now have to go to #6 Missouri. Up Next- @ # 6 Missouri, Sat.
Prediction - Huskers 41 Tigers 30

NFL Top Five Week 7

Week 7 seems like a strange time to start a power rankings, but it's better late than never. I will try to update this every Wednesday.

1- Pittsburgh Steelers (4-1) Offense 22.8ppg(10th) Defense 15.8ppg(2nd): Little doubt about this one, especially with the return of Ben Roethlisberger, who had three TD passes in his first game back. This team has play makers at every position and a toughness and swagger derived half from their coach and half from their history. In Ben's absence, Rashard Mendenhall has asserted himself as a premier back, giving them much needed balance in their offense. The only weakness that I can see are at the receiver position on offense. They have a pretty good young receiver in Wallace that is starting to turn heads. Other than him and Hines Ward, who's like 80 or something, they are very thin. But as long as they maintain their rushing attack, this shouldn't be too much of a problem. Now, on defense, they have no weakness, except that the league may legislate out the type of physicality that makes the Steelers so feared. If so, I'm sure this will effect their record, and their ranking. We will have to wait and see on Sunday. Next up- @ Miami, Oct.24th 12PM ct

2- New York Jets (5-1) Offense 26.5ppg(4th) Defense 16.8ppg(t-5th): Nothing, not even Hard Knocks, Sexy Rexy, Braylon's wooden clog hands or Bart Scott's big mouth seem to be able to stop this football team. Their only loss was at the hands of a very competent Baltimore team week 1, and I would argue that this is a very different team right now. Some would argue that the Ravens are a different team now, too, but this is not the time or place to talk about those Fightnin' Ray Lewises. Mark Sanchez seems to be on the verge of stardom, and the rest of the talent is very experienced and exceptionally well put together. Kudos to their front office for getting this done. Getting Santonio Holmes may just put this team over the top, especially since you move the afor mentioned wooden clog hands to the slot. LT showed he can still Electric Glide and that rumors of his demise are greatly exaggerated. They are currently on a collision course with Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship. Next up- Green Bay, Oct.31st 12PM ct

3- Indianapolis Colts (4-2) Offense 27.2ppg(2nd) Defense 20.8ppg(t-17th): Any team with The Great Peyton is a threat to win every game they play. There is a method to his madness and a reason he's the best QB in the league and has a boat load of MVPs in the front closet of his house. He dissects you. He opens you up and studies you, determines your weaknesses and more importantly, your strengths. So come game time, he steers his team away from your strongest sets and then exploits your weaker ones to his heart's content. Dr. Peyton is a cold blooded, psycho killer surgeon on the football field. However, off the field he's chillin' with Justin Timberlake and eating Oreos with The Donald. But he doesn't play defense, and this year the Colt's defense is playing like, well, crap. They still get after the QB and generate some sacks and turnovers, which is more than can be said for a lot of D's. If they could just slow down their opponents ground game, not even stop it, just slow it down, they would likely be undefeated. I still wouldn't count them out in the post season. I'm sure no one in the AFC wants to see The Great Peyton in the playoffs. Next up- Houston, Nov.1st 7:30PM ct

4- New England Patriots (5-1) Offense 30.8ppg(1st) Defense 23.2(25th): How is a Bill Bellichek coached team ranked 25th in the league in points allowed per game? I thought The Hoody was an evil genius with the defense, how could he let this happen? Such is the fate of this years Pats, who lean on their offense more than the Oregon Ducks because the D just can't seem to get stops on a consistent basis. I've heard all about the rebuilding and work in progress. It's BS is what it is. They don't need stars, his D was never built on stars. He needs smart players and he's stuck with guys like Meriweather, who I believe was fined his entire game check for hits last Sunday. This team does still have Tom Brady, the man, the myth, the legend. And any team with Brady is a serious threat to hoist the Lombardi. He doesn't have Moss anymore, but he does have a bunch of darts that can stretch the field and clear space for Wes Welker, whose hands are like vacuums. If they continue scoring like a sailor on shore leave, they could be playing in February. Next up- @ San Diego, Oct.24th 3:15PM ct

5- New Orleans (4-2) Offense 21.7ppg(7th) Defense 18ppg(12th): One could argue that the Saints aren't even the best team in their conference and that there might even be 2 or 3 teams from the AFC that deserve this spot. I still think that this team has another great run left in it. They are just suffering from the Super Bowl hangover, and if you have ever been to New Orleans, you know that hangovers there take a back seat to no one and nothing but the toilet bowl. They still have all the necessary pieces to win including one of the best quarterbacks in the league in Drew Brees and an offensive genius the likes of which we haven't seen in many years in head coach Shawn Peyton, no relation. This team might be missing the receiving talents of Reggie Bush, but I think they are really missing a consistent running game, which they had almost all last year. trust me, I know. Pierre Thomas helped me win my fantasy football league. Maybe this Ivory kid is their answer. Maybe I three-peat. Maybe my cat craps gold coins. Next up- Cleveland, Oct.24th 12PM et

NCAA Division 1 Top Ten Rankings week 8

I know what you're saying, "Top ten...WTF! Isn't it supposed to be 25?" And the answer would be, yes, it is supposed to be 25. But I think the top 10 teams are the only ones with a shot to do anything important, therefore they are the only ones that really matter. Not to mention, since I don't have a vote on any major poll I can do whatever the heck I want. I will try my hardest to update this every week, but I'm a lazy bastard so don't hold your breath. Oh, and by the way, that title is correct! F the BcS! Rankings given in Up next are from the AP poll.

1-Oregon (6-0, 3-0 Pac10) This is the closest thing Division 1 has to The Greatest Show On Turf this season. They score points at will(1st in D1 at 54.3ppg), but the defense is average at best(45th at 338.5ypg). At some point the offense will sputter and this team will have to make stops. Next up: UCLA, October 21st

2-Boise State (6-0, 2-0 WAC) This team is so loaded it's ridiculous, and are somehow underrated even at #2. They can beat you with the pass(14th ypg) or the run(14th ypg) and score more than Uncle Rico(3rd at 47.5ppg). When it's all said and done, they should be playing for that ugly crystal football. Next up: Louisiana Tech, October 26th

3-TCU (7-0, 3-0 MWC) How can these teams keep leap-frogging TCU when all this team does is dominate? They lead Division 1 in points per game at 9.3, but don't think this team is one dimensional. They can do some damage on offense, too, averaging 40.1ppg, good enough for 7th in D1. This team could beat just about anyone this side of the NFL. Next up: Air Force, October 23rd

4-Oklahoma (6-0, 2-0 Big12) Somebody once told me the ultimate goal in football is to win. Well, that's exactly what this team has done. They've played a tough schedule(Air Force, Texas, Florida St.), and although it hasn't looked pretty at times, they are undefeated. Will only go as far as Landry Jones can take them, which might be Stillwater or Arlington, or beyond? Next up: @#18 Missouri, October 23rd

5-Alabama (6-1, 3-1 SEC) I don't care that this team has a loss, they can beat LSU and Auburn, so that's why they are hear. I'm not going to penalize this team as much as some others might. Defense is still very good and offense sports 2 Heisman caliber running backs and a QB with 1 loss on his college resume. Enough said. Next up: @ Tennessee, October 23rd

6-Auburn (7-0, 4-0 SEC) Undefeated, but still not as good as Alabama. Don't get me wrong, this is a up and coming team, and with Cam Newton at QB they are gonna be in every game. Killin' it on the ground(283.7ypg) and scoring at will, in fact, I think they just scored against Arkansas again, this team was supposed to be a year away. Surprise! Next up: #6 LSU, October 23rd

7-Ohio State (6-1, 2-1 Big10) I would look for this team to run the table. They have the most talent in the conference and the last time I checked Pryor still ran a 4.3 or something. They do most all their damage on the ground(208.4ypg). Need to develop a more consistent passing game, the big plays are there but the chain moving plays aren't. Next up: Purdue, October 23rd

8-LSU (7-0, 4-0 SEC) This team is dying to lose. They got the loss-itch and aren't going to be satisfied until it gets scratched. Their QB play is abysmal and they score less than your friend that lives in his parents basement. LSU lives off of defense, special teams and timely plays in the 4th quarter. 3 of their next 5 against ranked teams(Auburn, Alabama, Arkansas). That's a triple stack of losses. Next up: @ #5 Auburn, October 23rd

9-Utah (6-0, 3-0 MWC) All about balance, this Utah team just keeps improving week to week. They average a very respectable 45.8 ppg and are stingy with the D. A date with #4 TCU looms large on their schedule like tax day, but other than that it could be smooth sailing. Next up: Colorado State, October 23rd

10-Michigan State (7-0, 3-0 Big10) Sparty is your classic Big ten team. They do everything well but nothing exceptionally well. Every game seems close and for the most part they are boring, but like Oklahoma, they win. Add to that the drama surrounding Coach Dantonio's heart attack and you have a team that knows how to play tight games and has a chip on it's shoulder. Still many tough games ahead, though. Next up: @ Northwestern, October 23rd

What's Really Wrong With The Cowboys

 You might not be able to tell, because my body of work in this blog is very limited, but I have yammered on for three years about the myriad of problems that plague the Cowboys. Head Coach? Done it. Offensive coordinator? Many, many times. General Manager? I've been there, done that. Then, out of the blue, it occurred to me. It's the classic break up line (no I'm not breaking up with the Cowboys), only this time it's really true. My expectations for this football team have been absurdly overblown for several seasons. It was an epiphany on the same level as Newton's Gravity and Einstein's Relativity. It's not them, it's me!
 I'm not going to elaborate on my expectations for the previously mentioned individuals because, well, I have no expectations of the previously mentioned individuals. We are talking about an Arkansas wildcatter who played offensive line back in the Fifties who thinks he knows football because Jimmy Johnson built him a winner in the Nineties, a guy who is on the fast track to Head Coach in the League and the only reason I could think of as to why was that he's so bad as O-Coordnate that you have to find somewhere else to put him, and a career loser who finally won a game that mattered last season but whose defense was always great. And while I was watching said defense get smoked at home last Sunday by a terrible Titans offense, well on my way to becoming a drunk, muttering, farting heap, the retractable roof on my house opened and God himself peeked in and a chorus of angels chimed "It's Noteth Them, It Iseth You...My Child". Just as abruptly as it happened it all disappeared. So, while I was taking a shower and changing my drawers, I pondered the message. Every position I applied it to, it worked. It was the Theory of Everything.
 Bill Parcell's warned us about Tony Romo a long time ago. Don't get me wrong, he's a good quarterback, there are a lot of teams that would take him in a heartbeat. But he will also sometimes break that heart, and those tendencies are exasperated by incompetent pass blocking. The Cowboys are having a tough time controlling rushers and Tony is not finding lanes to throw through, resulting in many tipped passes.
 This might be the worst offensive line since 1989. You've got cast offs from other teams, some never weres and never will be's. Davis and Colombo can no longer physically do and never were that big on the mental game. Free can do, but for some reason this year he's had one long brain fart. Gurode and Kosier never really were that good, the national media just perceived them to be. That is probably true about all the Cowboys linemen. Their perceived as great players, but in reality they are all sizzle and no steak. The line has been neglected for many years, with GM Jones only occasionally throwing spare parts and 4th through 7th round picks at the problem with very little success.
 Everyone has heard the football saying about if you have two QB's, than you don't have one. But have you heard the on that goes, if you got three RB's, than you don't have one? Does this team have a running back, one running back that can be the primary chain mover? And if Felix Jones is that one, give him the damn ball. A lot. And if he gets hurt, then let's see what Choice can do. Sounds easy, but it's apparently too difficult for a Princeton man to grasp. But like with Romo, the running backs get a little break because of the ineptitude of the offensive line. A good line can make an average back good and a good back great.
 Does this team even have a defensive line? I know the 3-4 is more about linebackers than lineman, but if we had some ends that could provide pressure, than we wouldn't have to blitz all the time. If we had a d line worth beans we wouldn't have opponents offensive lineman rolling down field erasing linebackers and opening holes big enough to drive my mother-in-law through. I hate to say it, because he's the best lineman they have, but Ratliff doesn't fit here. He's the one guy that can get penetration, but he plays the nose and in the 3-4 the nose requires you to absorb lineman like a sham-wow. His talent is being wasted here. He would be dominate in a 4-3 defense.
 Which brings me finally, and most ingloriously, to the defensive backs. This is where I've had the hardest time separating my heart from reality. In my heart of hearts I believe these guys, with the possible exception of Terrence Newman, who couldn't even find and interception with Uncle T-Bone's bloodhounds, are play makers. But in reality, they are average. They all seem to have wooden clog hands and get burnt on a regular basis. They are the masters of the pass interference, partly because they have little to no competent safety help and that leaves them in situations that that they feel are desperate and require desperate acts,  and partly because they are sadistic bastards who love to torture me. None of these guys have any skins on the wall, yet once again there is a perception that The Three Corners are great players.
 So you see, when you put down the Kool-Aid, sober up and take a peak at reality, you see we're the ones that are really to blame for this bad season. We had the blinders on and failed to see these guys for what they really are, for the most part, average. We pumped them up in our minds, and then allowed the media to stroke our ego about how good this team was, how much talent they have. If you look with your mind, not your heart, you see just a handful of talented guys and a lot of overrated and overpaid guys.

Three Up, Three Down

The following was written by old time Star-Telegram columnist George Dolan. I tried to research when it was written and but came up with no solid leads. It is reprinted here word for word without permission.

Three Up, Three Down by George Dolan

 That oldtimers' baseball exhibition at Arlington Stadium earlier in the summer, which attracted big-name New York Yankee stars of the past, couldn't help but remind Bob Spindle of Fort Worth of what he calls his only real claim to fame.
 Spindle used to officiate football and baseball games and even pro rasslin'. He was stationed behind home plate at an exhibition game between two Major League teams at El Paso 23 or 24 years ago.
 In the pre-game meeting, where ground rules are discussed by umpires and managers, one of the managers requested that the umpires be lenient on their calls. If the home plate umpire wouldn't be too nit-picky about calling strikes, the manager reasoned, then his batting star would have a better chance of hitting a home run or two and giving the crowd a thrill.

Thumbs-Down On Let-Up
 The umpires turned thumbs-down on that suggestion. They'd call it, they insisted, as the saw it. The second time the big batting star was at bat, Spindle recalls, he was out on a called third strike.
 "He didn't like it," Spindle says. "He kept on fussing and called me a few names, which he shouldn't have. If he hadn't used the bad language, I wouldn't have sent him to the showers, but I told him to get off the field. He went to the dugout. I told him to get out of the dugout, that he was going to the showers or this would be a called ball game."
 "(His manager) came out and said, 'I protest this,' and I said, 'You can't protest a judgement call..'" They had words, Spindle says, and the manager employed some vulgar remarks to him that the crowd could hear.
 An umpire, he explains, can let such language go if the crowd can't hear it. "When you let the crowd hear it, that's it," he says. "I told him he would have to go."
 "He said, 'You can't send me to the showers.' I said, 'Well, you'd better leave this field or your team is forfeiting this game.'" The manager left but, an inning or two later, Spindle says, the catcher started "breathing down my collar."

Catcher Next
 "Instead of the umpire breathing down the catcher's collar," says Spindle in an injured tone, "he started breathing down MY collar." The memory still wounds him. "He started fussing because I was calling some balls he thought should have been strikes and he said a few vulgar remarks to me so I told him to join his two buddies in the shower."
 So far as Spindle knows, he was the only umpire ever to throw those three out of the same game.

They were, in order,
Joe DiMaggio,
manager Casey Stengel
and Yogi Berra.


 Bob Spindle is my grandfather. He passed in 1989. I'm sure he loved this story very much, so when I had trouble finding anything else out about it online, I decided to reprint it here. He would have loved sharing this and I hope you enjoyed it.

Texas College Football Volume 1

 I wasn't at DKR on Saturday. Wasn't part of the 100,00 man army, although it might not have been 100,00 on Saturday cause there were an awful lot of Bruin fans there. No, my money and I stayed 3 hours drive to the north, in comfortable, reclined...despair as the Longhorns went through the motions against what has turned out to be a very solid team. In the process, they pissed away the opportunity to make next weeks match against Boomer Sooner mean something and took themselves out of the bogus national championship picture. But I think the most important thing they lost was leverage with all the recruits they had in the stands. I wonder how many of them still want to go to Texas? How many want to go to UCLA now? And while there is more finger pointing in Austin than drag worms after that embarrassing 34-12 loss, my twisted finger points one way, the schedule.
 That's right, I said it, the schedule. Yes, there are other factors, I mean, come on, I'm not stupid(don't say it). Lack of running game, no down field passing game(weren't we promised a down field play-action passing game to go with the reborn i back sets?), poor tackling, careless turnovers, mental breakdowns, Will Muschamp can't stop a real running game, receivers with T Rex arms and oven might hands, rampant malaise and general disinterest. But most of these things come from the fact that Texas doesn't play anybody. When you don't play anybody you don't really face adversity. When a human being faces adversity it brings out their true character. And any good coach knows that adversity is the blacksmith that forges a strong football team. Your boys become battle hardened veterans, like Easy Company after Operation Market Garden. They can keep their cool cause they've been there before. Today I saw a team full of greenhorns that finally got to play somebody with legitimate talent and broke like poorly made steel.
 So, you don't believe me. Well, let's just look at a few games from Saturday. Alabama was able to respond from a major deficit on the road against the #10 Arkansas Pig Siouxies. The same Bama team that played Penn State earlier in the year. Boomer Sooner wins a squeaker against Cincinnati after playing Air Force(very good team) and Florida State. Ohio State, notorious for playing Direction Fort Wayne State and Cleveland Institute of Ceramics, played Miami this season. Even little guys Boise State have played Virginia Tech and Oregon State. Texas played Rice and Wyoming, and in the process learned nothing about what it takes to respond to adversity in a football game. It almost caught up to them against those Plains Aggies from Techsterville. But Yosemite Sam shot himself in the foot like he always does. Yesterday there was no almost. It seemed like every mistake was capitalized on. This team flat out doesn't know what it is. Is it a great defensive team? Great defenses stop the run, and this team can only stop the spread run. Is it a power running team? If so, who's your primary back? Like I said about the Cowboys, if you got three backs then you don't have one. Or is it a spread? Right now it seems to be half and half, and that's not even very good in coffee.
 The future may hold many bright things for Garret, Mike, Jackson and those boys. The talent on this team is not in question. We all know Mackie Mack can recruit as well as anyone out there. But the present only holds heartbreak, loneliness and anguish. Conference play will be rough this year as Oklahoma and Nebraska look for revenge. Missouri could be OK and Baylor is due to beat somebody at some point, right? Heck, even Okie Noodler State looks to be totally loaded offensively, although they might suffer the same fate as Texas because...wait for it...they haven't played anybody! Could a 4 or 5 loss season down in Longhorn Nation be a reality? This might be a very long season. Keep your head up, though. It could be worse, you could be in Oklahoma! Keep Austin Weird Y'all!

Long Season Reasons

A couple of things about the Cowboys that won't change until Jerry Jones steps to the side or dies(I would prefer step to the side, but, no...I'm not going there):
number 1-The Dallas Cowboys will not have a strong willed head coach with Hand(power) in personnel and coaching staff decisions. He will be always be as he is now, a puppet with very little respect from his coaches or players. Do you really think Wade could be a coach anywhere else? He almost wasn't the coach here. Garret was hired first and many thought he was going to be the head coach and Wade would be hired as d coordinator. Maybe Washington, because they are the only franchise more dysfunctional than the Cowboys. But, seriously, Wade is a great defensive coordinator(although it didn't show today, Mike Martz made him look foolish after the first quarter), and he could probably get a job with 20 other teams doing just that. But he is not a good coach. Not in Buffalo, where he was fired, and not in Denver, where he was fired. When the shit hits the fan in the playoffs, Wade has only managed 1 win. that's just one more than me. He's not alone in the Cowboys history though. Campo wasn't any good as a coach. Nor was Gailey or Switzer(Yahoo Boomer Sooner got one hell of a 4 year ride, though). Even Parcells, who was years past his prime and wanted guys to play with leather helmets and punt on 3rd down, was not a good coach when he was in Dallas. But he had the respect of his players and he still knew personnel, and that's where he and Jerry butted heads, resulting in Big Bills early departure. You see, Jerry likes over-rated receivers and crappy linemen. Parcells preferred guys who could play and weren't in love with themselves. Wade leaves it all to Jerry and the result is what we see on the field(Dez and Miles excluded).
Which brings me to point b-Your quarterback is an extension of your coaching staff on the field. It's basic football philosophy. So when you have poor coaching, more often than not you are going to have poor quarterback play. Tony Romo is in danger of becoming Danny White. Statistically, Danny one of the greatest of the great Cowboys quarterbacks(Meredith,Staubach and Aikman). But he got blamed for every shortcoming, mistake and big game loss. And while I would argue that it wasn't all his fault, that some of it was the game passing Laundry by, Danny took most of the blame. Most of the passing records Romo has broken belonged to Danny White. And Romo takes a very large amount of blame for the teams losses. And some of it is his fault, but some belongs to Wade, and Jerry, too. Tony was much more consistent under Parcells and I don't think that's a coincidence.
Jerry Jones is a good business man, and he makes a lot of money with the Cowboys. That doesn't bother me at all, in fact, good for him. I'm not jealous of money. But he's not even an average football man with complete control of MY team. That makes me absolutely sick. In all his other business ventures, Jerry has hired very competent people to make key decisions. Back in the 90's, after the Jimster left, the joke started about Jerry being the real coach of the team. I'm not laughing.